Connections

 Human beings are social creatures.  To exist in isolation is almost a guarantee of failure to thrive.  In life's big open spaces filled with busy days of working, establishing a home, and earning a living, there are opportunities to connect everywhere.  From daily commutes to shared lunch breaks, to a child's classroom, study groups, movie nights and coffee shops, people and places to connect with are abundant.

Having a progressive health issue like Multiple Sclerosis can negatively impact opportunities for connection.  When fatigue and vertigo became my new best friends I found myself cancelling plans at the last minute more often than I would have liked.  When pain from spasticity became a regular visitor, my daily routine excluded events after 3:00 pm.  And with summer heat came cognitive deficits and brain fog.

What has been even more frustrating is that these symptoms are not visible and hence, not credible somehow.  I eventually gave up trying to explain them to anyone.  Any other excuse worked better than trying to describe what I was experiencing.  

Unreliable.  That's how I came to see myself.  Declining invitations, repeatedly having to say, "I can't make it this time...," led to not wanting to commit to being anywhere.  Luckily for me, I was introduced to Acceptance, Commitment Therapy (ACT).

 "ACT is an action-oriented psychotherapy that teaches you to stop struggling with difficult inner emotions.  Instead of trying to eliminate or suppress distress, you learn to accept these feelings as natural and commit to positive, values-driven behaviors that improve your quality of life."  (Psychology Today)

While many people with MS are without debilitating limitations, the presence of other symptoms; pain, numbness, or poor stamina can be a daily challenge.  There's no guarantee that the MS afflicted body will function properly on any given day.  Just flipping the switch doesn't mean the light will turn on.

There's no one-size-fits-all solution to this scenario.  If there are supportive and available family members willing to scoop you up and tote you around, that's a wonderful thing.  If you have friends who care enough to try and understand what you are going through, that's priceless.  

Fortunately we live in a time where connections are also available virtually.  (Covid opened our eyes to the realities of no-contact as a lifestyle.)  Not the same as the sights and sounds of that coffee shop you like, but a way to stay plugged in nonetheless.